But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
