butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
