Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
