I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
