she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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