She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Apparently you make a good broom.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
