just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
