Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
What drink are we having for lunch?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
