Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I am available for nakedness
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
