Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
