Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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