So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
