Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
