But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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