She's JV to your varsity
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
