Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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