Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
