absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
