I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
