hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just google imaged poop.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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