So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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