How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
