my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
