he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
