And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
