During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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