I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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