He had one of those small greek statue penises
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
