i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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