and you said cock pushups were impossible
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
