dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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