So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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