you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
did you just send me my own nude
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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