Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
MIDGETS
????
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
