Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
