remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
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