i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
