i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
