TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
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