Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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