I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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