I've blown a few things in my day
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
