i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I am midnight drunk by noon
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
