put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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