apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
