Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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