Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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