Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
