Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
