It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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