I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
