just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Did I show you my penis last night?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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